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Somehow, everybody is okay, but Malcolm and Ray leave an unconscious Kisha in the backseat and run away. A Haunted House 2 was apparently designed, like its putrid predecessor, to be a comedy. But it’s about as enjoyable as liver-flavored gummy bears, and it made me laugh about as often as listening to other people’s numbers getting called at the DMV. Agouhl tries to kill several folks, some by hanging, some by drowning, some by burning. The devilish deeds always double back on the demon, though, causing it to fall from a tree, catch fire and get pummeled with a pool-cleaning net. A possessed Malcolm contorts into horribly uncomfortable positions (one of which prompts him to give himself oral sex).
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Some of the stuff I’ve found funny would curl your hair and probably make you pray for me. As a parody of found footage movies, 2013’s "A Haunted House" offered the potential for a scene like this. I learned there is no need to see "A Haunted House" unless you desire a marginally better version of the material that pollutes "A Haunted House 2." This time, the main target of parody is "Sinister," though jabs at "Insidious" are also present.
A Haunted House 2 ( Stream and Watch Online
There are a few jokes that just run too long, but over all the jokes are pretty funny and consistent, even doing call backs. I'll easily watch anything with Jaime Lee Pressly in it, but Marlon Wayans is kind of the big treat in this. One of the reasons I liked the first movie is that they got back to the spirit of the original "Scary Movie" franchise before they took it from the Wayans. This moronic, witless, unbearably mirth-free mess finds Wayans endlessly mining ethnic stereotypes then mocking them for supposed humor. The movie feels relentlessly overwrought and never quite knows how to deliver its outrageous shtick in broad doses.
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Malcolm finds himself being terrorized and taunted by Abigail, as he is getting sent crude photos from her to his phone. Later, Malcolm sees a box moving in the dark and begins to attack it in every possible way he can. Megan and the kids run downstairs and tell Malcolm that what was in the box was supposed to be a surprise for him to make up for Shiloh Jr. Malcolm reaches into the box and pulls out a horribly mangled dog.
It’s certainly likely to be among the worst movies in wide release this year, but it’s far from the most hateable, and that should count for something. Whenever I watch found footage horror movies, I hope for a scene where the ghost/creature/whatever suddenly grabs the camera and starts shooting its own footage. Because if you’re stupid enough to continue recording when crap hits the fan, you deserve to die horribly and with better cinematography. The ghost will give me a better, less shaky look at the terrible things it’s doing to the deserving victim.
Marlon Wayans proves you can go 'House' again - The Philadelphia Inquirer
Marlon Wayans proves you can go 'House' again.
Posted: Fri, 18 Apr 2014 07:00:00 GMT [source]
Why did I need to see scene after unfunny scene of Wayans nakedly humping a creepy children’s doll (there must be 10 minutes of this footage)? Who gives a damn what movie it’s supposed to be parodying? He could be playing Richard Pryor instead of doing this. Among other weird scenarios that plague the family is Becky opening her box and having a whole swarm of moths fly out. Malcolm fixes this by installing bug zappers to attract the moths to their doom. He also notices the demon, which Professor Wilde says is named Aghoul, taunting him in the videos.
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He then takes a shotgun and blows its head off to put it out of its misery. Megan then puts a creepy looking doll named Abigail on a chair by their bed. Malcolm messes around with it until he starts having sex with it. Malcolm carries his camera around to record everything he sees. He meets the neighbor, Miguel, who jumps at every chance he gets to call Malcolm racist whenever he comments on something related to a Mexican stereotype, though all of it is in jest. Malcolm records himself having sex with Megan and notices the Abigail doll turning its head.
He tries getting rid of her by burying her, sending her to Taiwan, chopping her up and barbecuing her, but she comes back each time. Additionally, Becky finds an old box and develops an attachment to it, and Wyatt continues to hang out with his imaginary friend. Malcolm seeks help from a paranormal psychologist named Professor Wilde. He deduces that Malcolm must have had a previous encounter with a demonic force. Wilde then proceeds to cook meth with some prostitutes, but then gets arrested by the police.
Unless you've seen every awful horror flick of the past five years, you won't even get the jokes. I was, in other words, literally paid to see this one. I can’t actually imagine any other reason why someone would go. Scads of other profanities include “a‑‑,” “b‑‑ch,” “d‑‑n,” “h‑‑‑” and “p‑‑‑.” The n-word gets ruthlessly exercised. God’s name is misused at least two-dozen times (four or five times with “d‑‑n”), and Jesus’ is abused once or twice.
Otherwise, A Haunted House 2 is a fetid foundation that begs to be condemned. There are a couple of laughs to be found in A Haunted House 2.
As a last resort, Malcolm goes to find Ned and Noreen Swanson, a sort of racist and sexually frustrated paranormal investigative husband and wife duo. He brings them to his house, where they determine that the demonic presence has attracted the family to it, explaining Becky's need for the box, Wyatt's imaginary friend, and Malcolm's sexual attraction to Abigail. They take hits from a bong mask and go downstairs to find Becky fully possessed.
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